We’ve all done it.
You’re standing in a fitting room, mirror lighting doing you favours, imagining a version of yourself wearing this piece. She’s confident. Polished. Her life is more social, more put together, maybe even a little more glamorous than your current reality.
The sales person showers you in compliments, and so you buy it.
And then… it sits in your wardrobe. Tags on. Rarely worn. Quietly reminding you of a life you’re not actually living.
This is what I call shopping for your aspirational life, and while it feels exciting in the moment, it’s one of the biggest reasons wardrobes become full but frustrating.
Aspirational pieces are usually bought for who we want to be, not how we actually live. I see this all the time when I go into clients’ wardrobes.
They’re often:
- Too dressy for everyday life
- Too impractical for your routines
- Outside your true personal style
- Dependent on occasions that rarely happen
The issue isn’t that you shouldn’t have aspirational goals, it’s that your wardrobe needs to support your real life first, not wait for a fantasy version of it to show up.
Three Questions To Ask Yourself
Before anything comes home with you, pause and ask yourself these three grounding questions. (and to quote David Beckham “be honest” IYKYK)
1. Where am I going to wear this?
Be specific.
Not “out to dinner” but what kind of dinner?
Not “to work” but your actual role and environment.
If you can’t clearly picture at least two or three real-life situations where this piece fits seamlessly, it’s likely an aspirational purchase rather than a functional one.
2. When will I be wearing this?
Is this something you’ll reach for weekly, monthly, or “one day”?
If it requires:
- A special event
- Perfect weather
- A version of you that rarely exists
…it’s probably not aligned with your current lifestyle. Clothes earn their place in your wardrobe by being worn, not by being admired and that is why I advise my clients that when they buy something it needs to be worn in the next few days, not months.
3. Why should I buy this?
This is the most important question.
Are you buying it because:
- It fills a genuine gap in your wardrobe?
- It works with what you already own?
- It reflects your personal style and body shape?
Or are you buying it because:
- It makes you feel like someone else or it looks great on a friend?
- It represents a future you’re hoping for?
- It feels impressive, even if it doesn’t feel like you?
There’s a big difference between a confidence-boosting piece and a fantasy identity purchase.
One of the biggest reasons aspirational pieces go unworn is that they often don’t match your personal style.
If your natural style is relaxed, practical, or minimal, a highly structured, trend-driven or overly glamorous piece may feel uncomfortable once the excitement wears off. You might love how it looks but not how it feels on you.
And when clothes don’t feel like “you,” they don’t get worn. Simple as that.
Dressing for the Life You’re Actually Living
A functional, hardworking wardrobe doesn’t limit you, it supports you.
When you shop with intention and honesty:
- You wear more of what you own
- Getting dressed feels easier
- Your style feels authentic and confident
- Your clothes work for you, not against you
When you shop for the life you’re actually living now, your wardrobe becomes something you enjoy using every single day, not something you’re waiting to grow into.
And that’s where true style confidence is built.